quarta-feira, 12 de agosto de 2009

Eu, ansiosa?

“Lilian, você tem uma tendência a ansiedade” E nessa hora o relógio anunciou o horário. “Nos vemos na próxima semana?” E foi assim que terminou a minha sessão de terapia hoje, sem tempo pra eu perguntar... Como assim? Ansiedade do quê? O que você queria dizer com isso? Por que você acha que eu sou ansiosa? Ansiosa como? E agora, o que vai me acontecer?

Sabe aquela coisa que todo mundo sabe sobre você, mas você é único que não se dá conta disso? Sabe? Agora eu também sei, e só tenho uma pergunta sobre isso... Posso saber por que motivo ninguém nunca me disse isso antes? Assim, desse jeito tão específico. Ansiedade. Como alguém termina uma terapia me revelando uma coisa assim e não me diz o que fazer? Já que foi tão esclarecedor o diagnóstico, bem que poderia me remediar de uma vez dizendo o que eu devo fazer, em vez de me deixar aqui sozinha tendo que tomar decisões tão difíceis. Ai que ansiedade!

Tendência a ansiedade, seria isso um diagnóstico? Eu poderia ter tendência a diabetes e viver muito bem, aliás, eu tenho tendência a diabetes e vivo muito bem, obrigada! Poderia ter tendência a obesidade, calvície, gagueira e daltonismo se eu fosse homem, é claro. Mas o meu problema, ou melhor, a minha tendência é a ansiedade. Poderia ser isso um problema genético?

Pensando bem, poderia mesmo ser um problema genético, analisando a minha ansiosa família eu teria grandes chances de possuir o tal mal. Imaginem vocês que o meu avô, o pai da minha mãe, era tão ansioso que comia os cigarros ao invés de fumá-los, batia na porta do banheiro quando minha avó demorava lá dentro, para ver se ela ainda estava lá, e quase morria quando sumia o vascaíno de borracha de cima de sua televisão, o vô João era tão ansioso que atropelava as palavras pra dizer o que queria. Mais difícil era ele conseguir o que queria falando rápido daquele jeito.

E a avó do meu pai, que era tão ansiosa que não colocava muita comida pra cozinhar porque não tinha paciência pra esperar ela ficar pronta. Se alguém dizia para ela que a casa estava limpa, fazia questão de que continuasse assim e supervisionava tudo e todos. Se algo estava fora do lugar era motivo pra acusar cada ser vivo ao seu redor de ter bagunçado a casa inteira, e todos sabiam que bagunçar a casa inteira significava um quadro torto na parede, ou um cinzeiro velho fora do lugar. Reclamava sempre que alguém cogitava a idéia de convidar alguém para visitá-la, imagina organizar tudo e ficar esperando a tal visitava chegar, era muita ansiedade para uma senhora só, pelo menos para a minha bisavó.

Mas não pensem que o histórico familiar de ansiedade para por aí, o meu pai é tão ansioso que ao me chamar ele fica gritando o meu nome repetidas vezes até que eu apareça na sua frente, e não adianta gritar de volta “já vou!” o ansioso não para nunca. E a minha mãe não fica pra trás, catequista, carola fervorosa, vive perdendo as coisas, mas a ansiosa de Deus, além de brigar com todo mundo como a bisa, ela também apela pros céus e exige de São Longuinho o objeto perdido em troca de pulinhos. Como assim? O que ele ganha com os pulinhos? Quem disse que ele queria pulinhos? Alguém sabe? E também tem a minha irmã que buzina até pro sinal vermelho no semáforo demorado.

Mas parece que ansiedade não é genética, ela passa por contato muito próximo com os ansiosos, imaginem vocês que meu namorado depois que passou a freqüentar a minha casa começou a ficar irritado quando eu demoro no banho, chego atrasada no lugar combinado... que ansioso, né?

Pois bem, pra resolver todas essas questões não têm outro jeito a não ser comparecer na semana que vem no mesmo horário, no mesmo local e no mesmo divã.





20 comentários:

Unknown disse...

é, seu bloguezinho não podia ter outro nome mesmo...é pura merda... cresce e aparece filhinha.

Klinger disse...

Nossa Adoro seu blog..
O li mais de uma vez...
..
Aí sei como é esse negocio de ansiedase..
imagina como eu fico esperando a proxima postagem...
Parabens pelo blog é muito bom ..=D

Unknown disse...

Bom tarde prima.

Sou de Florianópolis.
Me chamo Rodrigo.

Adorei seu bom humor ao falar da ansiedade. Você tem muito jeito para a descrição. E realmente seu namorado é muito ansioso né prima. Hahaha

Rodrigo Melo Philippi
rodrigomelophilippi@gmail.com

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